Pondering

I have been pondering a lot about the direction of life - how we each have ups and downs, we each struggle to learn and figure things out, we each have pain and joy, we each deal with the good and the bad. The tragedy in Boston yesterday reminded me how fragile and precious life is - and that in a split second - the direction of a life can be drastically changed or ended. My heart goes out to all who have been affected. I sorrow that anyone could desire to cause pain to others.

Yet, what will come from tragedy? I have seen the human spirit soar and rise above conditions that seem impossible and completely devastating. I have witnessed individuals who offer support, forgiveness and love in the face of anger, pain, and loss. I pray for peace and love and kindness and know that good will ultimately win.

I am reminded of Corrie Ten Boom, one of my heroes. She was a true survivor and powerhouse of faith. She went to the depths and lived against all odds. She inspires me more than most... because she truly lived... Simply... Faithfully. She loved when love seemed to be impossible.

Today, this is my writing... feeling deeply for all who are suffering around the world... sending love and prayers to all who struggle or are in pain... and feeling such gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ which can bring healing and peace to any who seek.

Love to all! 

Me Writing Again... Take 2

So, I must admit that I fell off the writing wagon. I let life and busy things and health and feeling stuck and travel and everything in between get in the way of me writing every day. I believed the excuses that selling my house and packing up everything I own and looking for a new living situation and putting things into storage and moving and dealing with mono and all of my family events and obligations - that all of these things were more important than sticking to my goal of writing every day.

Oh, the excuses we can come up with are good excuses. But that is exactly what they are -- excuses.

It is not that the things I have been doing have not been important. It is that I put my priority on them and did not MAKE time to write - even for 10 or 15 minutes a day. I put as a premium in my life other "tasks" and placed my "creating" as a item on my ever growing list of things "to do". My list kept getting longer and my personal goal and desires continued to be pushed lower and lower on my priority list.

I recognize the fact that I let things get in the way. I own that. I also recognize that some of the things that became more important - were, in fact, more important. And I do not regret adjusting my priorities for those more important moments.

Have you ever done this? Of course you have. We all do it. We get determined. We set goals. We are all fired up and ready to go. We start a new habit. We are motivated.

And then life happens. Curve balls are thrown at us. We have emotional or physical pain. We slip right back into familiar habits. We quit going to the gym. We backslide. We stop writing.

The key here is to accept that we are not perfect (a hard one for me as I expect myself to be perfect and the difference between my imperfections, which are many, and my expectations can generate such disappointment in myself.) I am learning to accept my imperfections and trying to nurture myself and treat myself as I treat others - so I can become stronger and better as I learn and grow. Most of us treat others much better than we treat ourselves. 

A second part of that key - in accepting our imperfections - is learning how to treat ourselves with love and nurturing and kindness. Treating ourselves with gentleness. We are are learning. We are all growing. We all make mistakes, and then we pick ourselves up and try again.

Would you criticize a child for falling down when they are trying to learn how to walk? No, of course not! And yet, what do we say to ourselves when we make a mistake or aren't as good as we want to be?

This past month I attended the Hay House Ignite! I Can Do It conference in San Jose. I loved the experience - not only to be inspired by those who are DOING it - but also to feel the almost desperate longings from audience members to catch the wave, learn about themselves, and start DOING it too.

Yet, during the conference I also experienced growing pains. Seriously painful growing pains. I deal with physical pain every day - and for some reason my body began screaming at me through the Conference. Pain can be a huge blessing as it is a motivator to bring about change - a way to look deep inside and figure out where I am stuck - a way to get closer to God as my recognition that I need Him to even get through another moment of the day - pain is a reminder to turn to Him. As I was struggling to listen to the speakers and not want to curl up in a ball on the floor, I began analyzing my life, and trying to figure out answers and direction. I had a few powerful AH-HA moments. One of which I will share here publically.

I was listening to Charles Holt's "Finding Your Voice: Keys to Your Greatest Potential". (If you have not heard him speak or perform, please do - he is incredible!) He was sharing his experiences about having a job he didn't love, getting fired, and not having direction. He loved performing and singing, but felt torn about leaving business for an artistic career. He spoke with a friend - who told him "Charles, when you are on stage or singing in a club - you light up the room!" His friend encouraged him. It was a nudge to embrace who he really is. His father told him to live his passion. (Charles went on to perform on Broadway, as well as around the world, and have an amazing and fulfilling career living his dreams.)

At that moment, I was hit with a powerful inspiration that brought me to tears. Each of us need encouragement! A crowd cheering us on. A little word or two of support. Someone who has our back and knows we can succeed - even when we fall down at times. When we are our own worst critics, or scared, or don't have direction - what we need is a hug, a shoulder, a nudge, a few words that can take us back to what we know... Each of us are amazing! Each of us have gifts and talents and abilities and a unique voice. Each of us can and should shine!

I remember a few years ago being at the finish line while my friend Crystal ran her first marathon. This was a huge feat for her! One she never imagined she would be able to do - and yet she had set her mind to it, put in tons of work and she did it! As I was waiting at the finish line to meet her - I had tears streaming down my face - so proud of her and basking in celebrating her success! I watched and cheered on many strangers. People who were struggling to even walk - but were accomplishing their goal. Little kids and grandparents. Women wearing pink ribbons as a statement about overcoming cancer. Families. Singles. Obviously athletes next to obviously not. Each one had their own story. Each had worked hard. Each had overcome obstacles. And each one was accomplishing their goal - and being cheered by the crowd. You can do it. Keep going. Don't give up. You are amazing!

During the Ignite! Conference, I was reminded that each of us need our own cheerleaders. We should surround ourselves with people who trust us, love us, want the best for us, see the good in us, support us in our goals, and want our success. And... we each should be our own best cheerleader. Not only do we need encouragement from external sources at times - but we need to encourage ourselves every single day. When we fail - do we berate ourselves? Do we judge ourselves? Or do we pick ourselves up - cheer ourselves on - and hear our own voices saying "It's okay - you can do it - just start again - keep going - don't give up!"

I believe that we each know better than anyone else our own weaknesses, our lacks, our challenges. At times we may be in denial about our failings, but deep down, we know where we struggle. It is not as easy to see our individual strengths, talents, and to celebrate them! Sometimes we need that little voice on the side of a race to whisper to our hearts - "You are amazing. Keep going." True friends are cheerleaders. Loving and accepting us for who we are - failings and everything - and who want to build us up, cheer us on, and celebrate with us.

It is easy for me to encourage others. I love to see someone I care about succeeding and shining. I am brought to tears when I see a video clip of someone overcoming amazing odds or challenges. I am in awe of people who break free from a life of mediocrity to shine and inspire. I love to see those who have worked hard to achieve excellence. It brings me great joy to celebrate others. It is not as easy to celebrate myself and my own successes. Perhaps it is that same way with you.

My Ah-Ha moment has taken some time to sink in fully. I came home to life and all of the busy tasks it involves. I got caught up, yet again. But I didn't quit pondering what I had learned. I have spent a few weeks in accessing and pondering and trying to figure out how to give myself the gift of being my own best cheerleader, as well as discovering which relationships I have that are supportive and which are not. And, now I am back in the saddle. This is me... writing again... take two.

And, by the way... You. Are. Amazing! Come Shine With Me!

10 Tips for Becoming a Better Writer

English: penulis = writer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

10 Tips for Becoming a Better Writer

A writer is a writer when he says he is.
—Steven Pressfield

In my journey to become a better writer, I have been doing a lot of reading and learning about other writers and their tips for success. Not every tip will work for every writer, and processes may be different for each of us. However, this article I read today resonated with me and I think these tips are dead on: http://goinswriter.com/writing-tips/

•     Write every day.
•     Make sure your writing is effective.
•     Don’t be lazy; do your best to avoid sounding stupid.
•     Stay focused! Distraction is the enemy of all great art.
•     Stop worrying about being a good writer; just write.
•     Forget about fame; write what’s worth writing.
•     Get over your perfectionist tendencies.
•     Don’t write to get published.
•     Write with conviction.
•     Read.

My advice... embrace the dream and then get to work!
Love to all!

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Writing with Vulnerability

Today I determined that I would not read my emails, answer the phone, get distracted by the hundreds of tasks I should be doing, or allow myself to check out Facebook before I wrote.

Success!

I wrote one of the best chapters and one of the hardest I have ever written. It is the chapter I have been postponing writing for over a year - because it would require me to immerse myself back into feeling deeply and being completely vulnerable. It would require intense focus, no distractions, and making sure it was written with the right feelings. This chapter would lay out my soul for the reader and it is scary to think about being that vulnerable and open.

But with the lessons I have learned this week and the reminders I have received, I knew I was ready to write it. First draft... done.

Whew. It feels so good - almost like I have spewed my soul onto the page and then I can work on refining it. Tears were shed during the process. Exhausting and yet somewhat empowering.

I love it!

Overcoming Writing Obstacles

Have you ever become stuck when you were writing and haven't known what comes next? Have you tried to get into the habit of writing but found that all of a sudden there are way too many demands on your time and your writing time seems to get sucked up? Well, I have struggled with both of these things this past week.

There are always obstacles to overcome when writing. My biggest challenge is that when I determine to write before doing anything else there seems to be urgent issues that need to be dealt with, or distractions that I allow to take over my time. But then I find the day flies by with busy things and I find that I am too tired to be creative, or I slip back into the habit of putting myself and my creative goals last with the least amount of energy to give to my own dreams.

I am learning this lesson the hard way - You will never FIND time to write. You must MAKE time to write. It must be a priority where the most energy and best effort is applied.

This past week I actually didn't write at all. I allowed all of the other things in my life to take precedent. However, today I am recommitting to myself and my dreams. I see how easily I can slip back into old patterns and putting others' goals and hopes and dreams above my own. I see how my time can get used up by so many other things unless I make the decision to not allow that to happen. Of course there are exceptions to the rule and I can look back on this week and see why I chose other priorities. It has been a very good reminder and it is okay - because I have learned the lesson again and am determined to do better. Thus, I am writing today!

If you find yourself slipping back into old patterns, in putting yourself and your writing at the bottom of your list, take a deep breath, realize that it is a lesson to be learned, and then figure out strategies to create success rather than allowing life to continue to pass by without living your dreams. (How is that for a very long run-on sentence?)

I am learning acceptance of myself, of my imperfections, and my desires to continue moving forward even if it is slow and I stutter or fall once in a while. I just pick myself up, sit back down at the computer, and begin writing again. Life is good. And actually I had some very deep insights this past week that will help me become a better writer, even though I wasn't physically writing. The writing begins again...

Motivated to write

Are you motivated to write? Do you have stories you need to share and characters to bring to life? Can you imagine looking back at the end of your life and never having written?

I am a writer. It is part of my soul. But how do I stay motivated to write?

I actually have had times in the past where I was not motivated to write at all. I have let heartbreak and the world of business keep me from feeling, imagining, and allowing my creativity to thrive. And when I have done that, I have not written. I quit writing cards and notes. I quit writing in my journal. I basically quit writing. My writing still lived within me, even though I tried to bury it underneath logic and work. But now I am letting it out!

Getting back into the habit of writing again has been a struggle. I find myself making excuses and the fact that my goal is to write every day but not put limits on how much writing - has given me yet another excuse. I have kept my goal. I am writing. But am I really LIVING and LOVING the writing world again?

The answer to that question is yes and no. When I allow my soul to soar and get to know the hearts of my characters, I love writing. I love seeing where it will take me and bringing life's lessons learned out into the open. But when I put off writing until I have all of my other "tasks" done for the day and I give it the least amount of my energy, then it feels more like a "check-off" from my to-do list for the day.

I am on day 21 of my year of writing every day and I am actually excited. I can see how my attitudes are changing. I can feel my thoughts moving more towards what might be and possibilities and creation, rather than focusing on what has been comfortable in my previous career path. I am opening up to new possibilities in life as I embrace writing again. It may not come immediately, or even as quickly as I would like, but I am motivated to write and I am doing it!

Keys for Successful Writers

I attended a writing forum last night and actually found some inspiration and learned some keys for successful writers. The forum was an open Question & Answer session with four of Utah's top writers in the Young Adult/Middle School genre.

I had almost decided not to go to the meeting, as I am still dealing with a horrible case of mono and am utterly exhausted most of the time. However, at the last minute I determined to give it a shot and I am glad I did.

I wondered if each author had a specific process, if they stuck to an outline or allowed characters to take the story where they wanted to go. I wondered if each writer had a set schedule and wrote every day. I wondered how long it took them to write a full book. I wondered if most of their writing process was internal, or if they had writing support groups and got inspiration from brainstorming with others and getting feedback. I wondered if each writer struggled with the desire for perfection and the "internal editor" or if they knew their writing was filled with mistakes. The answers I got back were actually quite comforting.

Each writer had various processes - they had come up with ways of writing that fit their lives and styles. But as each progressed in writing, they all discovered that having outlines became invaluable. Some had outlines chapter by chapter only. Others outlined character arcs, romance arcs, and plot arcs as well. Some wrote their first chapter a dozen times or more as they came to know their protagonists. Others played "get to know you" games with their characters in order to truly know them before they began to write.

A few had writing support groups they would attend in order to not get inspiration, but more to get encouragement and to realize they were not alone in their writing endeavors. Some would share their writing with a few trusted friends and other authors in order to get feedback.

All struggled with their "internal editors", and all had overcome the desire and expectation that their writing would be perfect. Each admitted that their first drafts were "garbage" and all recognized the strong need for many rewrites before being happy with their outcomes. The recommendations were to just write and allow yourself the freedom to spew forth ideas - and then later go back and fill in gaps and rewrite to fix the technical issues.

I came away with not only insights into other writer's lives, but also with the realization that I have struggled with the same things others have, and that the direction I am going is the right one for me. The key is to keep writing, to keep reading, to keep learning, and to allow myself the freedom to not be perfect.

The keys for successful writers have the same basic fundamentals: outline, write, write, write, then edit, rewrite and then rewrite some more. But the processes and styles are unique to each writer. The bottom line lesson learned from attending this forum was: "If you love to write - then write!"

So... I am writing.

Week 1 of Writing Again... Complete

Well, it has been one week of daily writing and I have to say that I am amazed at how much I am loving this new habit. Obviously it is not yet a habit as "they" say it takes at least 21 days to create a new habit. But as I have embraced the creative side of my soul, I also claim this new habit.

Honestly, I haven't stuck with one project this week. I have begun a new novel. I have begun this new blog. I have written in a book that I began years ago. And I am truly enjoying allowing myself the freedom of writing what I want, when I want, without any deadlines or feelings of obligation to finish any one thing. Of course, that will likely come later as my habit has become ingrained and I work on another habit ... finishing.

Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)

Creating new habits should be a stretch, but also should be fun. I think that is the part of goal setting in the past that I have overlooked. I have pushed myself, added stress and obligation as I have made commitments to complete goals. But I missed the part about enjoying the process of the goals and not just the ability to check something off a list once it was completed.

I am very excited to look back at the end of 2013 and see exactly what a year of writing every day will look like. Here's to the journey! 

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Is my writing style normal?

Basic writing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have always wondered if my way of writing is normal, or if I approach things differently than most. I know some writers who have an outline of their whole story, a description of each main character along with weaknesses and strengths, and a clear definition of the arc of the story.

I know others who create storyboards and have everything planned in advance before they begin writing anything. And others who just sit down at the same time every day to create prose. 

I don't write like that.

I start with a fleeting idea - a phrase, a title, a thought. It might be something I read in the news or a billboard, or a comment on television. It might come from something I have been dealing with in my own life and imagining the best possible solution. But wherever the inspiration comes from - I catch the spark... and then I begin writing. It just flows. And then I get stuck.

When I was in passionate writing mode a few years ago, I would not be able to sleep most nights because conversations between characters popped into my head and I simply had to capture them immediately. I would get up and write and write and write. And then try to go back to sleep. But then the conversation would continue which meant no rest for me! I loved every second of it.

Truly I love the process of writing a new book. It is exciting and full of potential. But then once I start with the first chapter and brief sketch of what could happen in the story, it takes me days and even weeks of going around and around in my head the way I want it to go. At that point, I write a bit of a deeper outline (at least as far as I can get) and begin writing again.

I typically will have the beginning of a story idea and a desired message/outcome and ending. It's the middle part that makes me crazy. 

My novel I have been working on today is one I have been working on for years actually. I have a really good feel for the characters (oh, how I love them and if they were real I would call them my friends) but the story line has developed a life of it's own and gone off in a completely different direction than I anticipated. Now I am at a cross-roads. I can re-write the last chapter (which I think is brilliant but takes my main character into uncharted territory) or I can embrace the adventure and go where I think my heroine wants to go. Ah, and there is the dilemma. To move forward into the unknown or to stick to a plan.

This is so much fun!

I'll let you know what I decide.

For any of you out there that write - what is your process? Do you stick with a plan or have to outline everything? Do you let it develop as you go? Do you always have an end plan in mind or do you allow the story and characters to change?

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Setting Goals for 2013

Goal Setting

I love goals. I love having some measure of success and pushing myself to do more than I have done before. But I have a tendency to set too many goals and some end up being more stressful than effective. And then if I do not achieve said goals, I feel guilty. Hmmm... this can be a dilemma. Do I set only one goal for the year? Do I stretch and set multiple goals and risk the stress?

Last year I accomplished about 3/4 of my goals - but as I look back I wonder if my goals changed me for the better or if they were just tasks to accomplish. For example: I had a goal to read 25 books last year. I did that. I read over 40 books (but most of them were not life changing in any way). I accomplished the goal, but did I get the outcome I wanted to get?

Yoga Class at a Gym Category:Gyms_and_Health_Clubs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, I have decided to try something new this year.

This year, I am setting goals based upon how I want to live, to be true to my spirit, to develop qualities about the person I want to BE. When I look back at the end of 2013 - I want to know that I have improved my life, and not just checked off boxes indicating an accomplished task.

I am sharing my 5 major areas with you in hopes that it might spark some ideas if you want to try this type of goal setting as well.

1. I am a spiritual person. This year I want to feel in tune with God every day.
2. I am a creative person. This year I embrace the act of creation. 
3. I love making a difference. This year I will expand my circle of influence in reaching out to help, lift, and be kind to others. 
4. I love feeling healthy. This year I will focus more time on myself in taking care of my body. 
5. I love to learn and have adventure. This year I will embrace opportunities and seek out ways to develop my talents, discover new loves, and explore this beautiful world. 

Now that I have the 5 outcomes I want for this year - I am working on creating daily habits that will support me. These are the items I will track and check off. And they can change. I am not tying myself to a specific task or habit - but creating for myself patterns of behavior that will provide the outcomes I want. (See, I have accomplished a little bit of goal #2 already - I am creating...)

Now for the daily habits. I am setting these monthly - I can do anything for a month. And each month as I improve, I can increase or adjust the habits to support my desired outcomes even more. 

The easy ones for me to identify daily habits are #4 (health), and #1 (spirit).

To improve my health in January I will walk a certain amount of steps, cut out sugar, drink enough water, and eat 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables each day. I could do more like set times to go to the gym, not eat out, etc, but I think that 4 daily habits are enough for January.

To improve my spirituality and feel closer to God in January I will put more effort into my daily prayers. I will spend more time listening and trying to hear what God has to tell me - and then I will strive to follow His counsel. I will read scriptures daily and ponder more on how they apply to me. I am identifying specific books to study that are inspiring. I will repent each night - reviewing the day I lived and identifying things I should not have done, or things I should have done better - asking for forgiveness and determining to be better the following day. Those are daily habits that will fill my soul and help me to focus more on who I want to BE rather than just doing.

I am working on daily habits for creating (writing every day), learning and exploring (planning out what adventures I would like to have but being open to new possibilities as they come up), and making a difference (looking into monthly large service projects, but also wanting to do something each day even if it is a smile or kind word to a stranger). I am still working on deciding daily habits for my outcomes, but the nice thing about this way of setting goals is that even as I ponder about what I want to do - I am BECOMING more of who I want to become which means I am succeeding already.

I would love to hear about your 2013 goals or resolutions. How are you setting yourself up for success? What do you want to become and how are you working towards your goals?

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Writing Every Day

I'm writing again.  I have to keep telling myself that it doesn't have to be perfect and I can't compare myself with anyone else.

I absolutely love writing and creating and the excitement that comes what a character comes clearly into focus. So my goal for 2013 is to WRITE EVERY DAY. It doesn't matter if it is good, or great, or just one sentence or one paragraph. I simply must write.

Here is the beginning of a new idea for a novel... and I wrote it today, January 1, 2013. Goal accomplished!


Regrets

He slowly rose from the old recliner sitting in the corner of the living room. Grunting as he pushed his six-foot-two muscular frame into a standing position, he finally noticed that everything was quiet. The sun had retreated hours before and all traffic on the street was long gone. What time was it? Late. Too late to call. Too late to do anything except to think and to feel like his gut was being ripped out through his chest.

His body was screaming with built up tension. Giving in to the realization that his shoulders and neck were deeply knotted, he reached up and began massaging where it hurt most in hopes he might bring about some relief. Not sure how long he had been sitting, staring out into the street, his body now was certainly letting him know it had been too long.

Stomping his feet, he struggled to get the blood flowing again. What was I thinking? He pondered. How could I have been so stupid? Shaking his head, and exhaling with a sigh, Jackson Solomon Hartford Jr. knew his life was never going to be the same. He had screwed up. He had screwed up bad. Now he had to face the music.

Or he could run.

Shaking his head again, he tried to break loose an easy solution in the genius brain of his. No luck. His thoughts went around and around with no clear path to resolution. There is no way to fix it! There is no answer! Maybe I should just go. That would be the easiest. His eyes glazed over and he became completely unaware of his surroundings. Except that it was dark. And it was cold. And he was alone. Alone with his thoughts. Alone with the knowledge that he had ruined everything.

Writer... I am.

Writing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Writing is scary. It is filled with angst. It can be expressed with sadness or pain. Writing can be passionately loved and hated in the same moment. A writer can get stuck. Completely stuck. What words come next? Is that a good phrase? Have I repeated a word or thought too much?

But writing can also be loving, passionate, exciting, thrilling, unknowing, vulnerable, fragile, and intense.

My soul has stories to share, tears to shed, adventures to explore, characters to reveal, purposes to be unearthed, and overall... love to impart. I wish to share with you, in hopes that our communications can be inspiring, uplifting, supportive and kind, but also open to suggestion and guidance.

Writer... I am.