I am a writer. Yes. That is me. But I have lived so many adventures and had many careers that it has been virtually impossible to claim the writer that lives so intensely inside of me. Now comes 2013. And I am claiming the title of WRITER... come and join me.
I have been pondering a lot about the direction of life - how we each have ups and downs, we each struggle to learn and figure things out, we each have pain and joy, we each deal with the good and the bad. The tragedy in Boston yesterday reminded me how fragile and precious life is - and that in a split second - the direction of a life can be drastically changed or ended. My heart goes out to all who have been affected. I sorrow that anyone could desire to cause pain to others.
Yet, what will come from tragedy? I have seen the human spirit soar and rise above conditions that seem impossible and completely devastating. I have witnessed individuals who offer support, forgiveness and love in the face of anger, pain, and loss. I pray for peace and love and kindness and know that good will ultimately win.
I am reminded of Corrie Ten Boom, one of my heroes. She was a true survivor and powerhouse of faith. She went to the depths and lived against all odds. She inspires me more than most... because she truly lived... Simply... Faithfully. She loved when love seemed to be impossible.
Today, this is my writing... feeling deeply for all who are suffering around the world... sending love and prayers to all who struggle or are in pain... and feeling such gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ which can bring healing and peace to any who seek.
So, I must admit that I fell off the writing wagon. I let life and busy things and health and feeling stuck and travel and everything in between get in the way of me writing every day. I believed the excuses that selling my house and packing up everything I own and looking for a new living situation and putting things into storage and moving and dealing with mono and all of my family events and obligations - that all of these things were more important than sticking to my goal of writing every day.
Oh, the excuses we can come up with are good excuses. But that is exactly what they are -- excuses.
It is not that the things I have been doing have not been important. It is that I put my priority on them and did not MAKE time to write - even for 10 or 15 minutes a day. I put as a premium in my life other "tasks" and placed my "creating" as a item on my ever growing list of things "to do". My list kept getting longer and my personal goal and desires continued to be pushed lower and lower on my priority list.
I recognize the fact that I let things get in the way. I own that. I also recognize that some of the things that became more important - were, in fact, more important. And I do not regret adjusting my priorities for those more important moments.
Have you ever done this? Of course you have. We all do it. We get determined. We set goals. We are all fired up and ready to go. We start a new habit. We are motivated.
And then life happens. Curve balls are thrown at us. We have emotional or physical pain. We slip right back into familiar habits. We quit going to the gym. We backslide. We stop writing.
The key here is to accept that we are not perfect (a hard one for me as I expect myself to be perfect and the difference between my imperfections, which are many, and my expectations can generate such disappointment in myself.) I am learning to accept my imperfections and trying to nurture myself and treat myself as I treat others - so I can become stronger and better as I learn and grow. Most of us treat others much better than we treat ourselves.
A second part of that key - in accepting our imperfections - is learning how to treat ourselves with love and nurturing and kindness. Treating ourselves with gentleness. We are are learning. We are all growing. We all make mistakes, and then we pick ourselves up and try again.
Would you criticize a child for falling down when they are trying to learn how to walk? No, of course not! And yet, what do we say to ourselves when we make a mistake or aren't as good as we want to be?
This past month I attended the Hay House Ignite! I Can Do It conference in San Jose. I loved the experience - not only to be inspired by those who are DOING it - but also to feel the almost desperate longings from audience members to catch the wave, learn about themselves, and start DOING it too.
Yet, during the conference I also experienced growing pains. Seriously painful growing pains. I deal with physical pain every day - and for some reason my body began screaming at me through the Conference. Pain can be a huge blessing as it is a motivator to bring about change - a way to look deep inside and figure out where I am stuck - a way to get closer to God as my recognition that I need Him to even get through another moment of the day - pain is a reminder to turn to Him. As I was struggling to listen to the speakers and not want to curl up in a ball on the floor, I began analyzing my life, and trying to figure out answers and direction. I had a few powerful AH-HA moments. One of which I will share here publically.
I was listening to Charles Holt's "Finding Your Voice: Keys to Your Greatest Potential". (If you have not heard him speak or perform, please do - he is incredible!) He was sharing his experiences about having a job he didn't love, getting fired, and not having direction. He loved performing and singing, but felt torn about leaving business for an artistic career. He spoke with a friend - who told him "Charles, when you are on stage or singing in a club - you light up the room!" His friend encouraged him. It was a nudge to embrace who he really is. His father told him to live his passion. (Charles went on to perform on Broadway, as well as around the world, and have an amazing and fulfilling career living his dreams.)
At that moment, I was hit with a powerful inspiration that brought me to tears. Each of us need encouragement! A crowd cheering us on. A little word or two of support. Someone who has our back and knows we can succeed - even when we fall down at times. When we are our own worst critics, or scared, or don't have direction - what we need is a hug, a shoulder, a nudge, a few words that can take us back to what we know... Each of us are amazing! Each of us have gifts and talents and abilities and a unique voice. Each of us can and should shine!
I remember a few years ago being at the finish line while my friend Crystal ran her first marathon. This was a huge feat for her! One she never imagined she would be able to do - and yet she had set her mind to it, put in tons of work and she did it! As I was waiting at the finish line to meet her - I had tears streaming down my face - so proud of her and basking in celebrating her success! I watched and cheered on many strangers. People who were struggling to even walk - but were accomplishing their goal. Little kids and grandparents. Women wearing pink ribbons as a statement about overcoming cancer. Families. Singles. Obviously athletes next to obviously not. Each one had their own story. Each had worked hard. Each had overcome obstacles. And each one was accomplishing their goal - and being cheered by the crowd. You can do it. Keep going. Don't give up. You are amazing!
During the Ignite! Conference, I was reminded that each of us need our own cheerleaders. We should surround ourselves with people who trust us, love us, want the best for us, see the good in us, support us in our goals, and want our success. And... we each should be our own best cheerleader. Not only do we need encouragement from external sources at times - but we need to encourage ourselves every single day. When we fail - do we berate ourselves? Do we judge ourselves? Or do we pick ourselves up - cheer ourselves on - and hear our own voices saying "It's okay - you can do it - just start again - keep going - don't give up!"
I believe that we each know better than anyone else our own weaknesses, our lacks, our challenges. At times we may be in denial about our failings, but deep down, we know where we struggle.
It is not as easy to see our individual strengths, talents, and to
celebrate them! Sometimes we need that little voice on the side of a
race to whisper to our hearts - "You are amazing. Keep going." True friends are cheerleaders.
Loving and accepting us for who we are - failings and everything - and
who want to build us up, cheer us on, and celebrate with us.
It is easy for me to encourage others. I love to see someone I care about succeeding and shining. I am brought to tears when I see a video clip of someone overcoming amazing odds or challenges. I am in awe of people who break free from a life of mediocrity to shine and inspire. I love to see those who have worked hard to achieve excellence. It brings me great joy to celebrate others. It is not as easy to celebrate myself and my own successes. Perhaps it is that same way with you.
My Ah-Ha moment has taken some time to sink in fully. I came home to life and all of the busy tasks it involves. I got caught up, yet again. But I didn't quit pondering what I had learned. I have spent a few weeks in accessing and pondering and trying to figure out how to give myself the gift of being my own best cheerleader, as well as discovering which relationships I have that are supportive and which are not. And, now I am back in the saddle. This is me... writing again... take two.
And, by the way... You. Are. Amazing! Come Shine With Me!
